Paying our way through Kenya

“Huh? Did you see that? Was that a Q7?” “No, it can’t be”. “I’m sure though. And look there, now, to your right, a Cayenne!” “No way, are you kidding me? Impressive. And so shiny and clean!” This was the first conversation we took a turn for the ring road leading to Nairobi. And let me tell you: this country is a fresh breeze of development and Westernization. Or to be specific, some parts of Nairobi are, since this large city also hosts the 5th biggest slum in the world. The fact that we really enjoy the modernisation will probably have some of our colleague overlanders and backpackers frowning (because luxury = not done), but hey, we don’t care and enjoying the laundromat and the first good pizza in three months.

Kenya is very different from Ethiopia. Sure, you can still find the typical tin roofed shops with commercials painted on the side and dirt roads, but this country is far more developed. Apart from the cars and the quality of the roads, traffic is more organised, there are climbing lanes in the hills for heavy loaded trucks and diesel prices are close to European levels. People with some money have large malls at their disposal, there are kindergartens and amusement parks and stylish bars. And…some people actually wear white clothes! Haven’t seen that either for a few months. Because white pants obviously means a) not having to sit on dirty and lice-covered seats, b) not using public transportation, c) having a washing machine or a washing lady with magical skills, and d) having a full closet. A contrast to the image of people sitting in their underwear or naked chest under the washing line, waiting for their clothes to dry.

In Nairobi, the English character is omnipresent. There are luxury closed living communities where rich folks hide from the regular Kenyans. These gates communities carry names like ‘Mulberry heights’, ‘Lush garden grounds’ or ‘Olive tree residency’. Every fifth car is a Land Rover and we see an occasional stiff upper lip (accompanied by that typical English broad and flat bottom) walking by. Instead of coffee bars there are tea-with-milk bars with some cookies served on the side. To say it in an English manner: it has a rather pleasant atmosphere. Although this changes rapidly as soon as you drive towards the suburbs: the security around the houses and communities becomes heavier and heavier, neighbourhoods look dodgier and no one wears white anymore. All this ends in Kibera: the fifth largest slum in the world (after Mexico city, Islamabad, Delhi and Cape Town).

The first day that we drove in Nairobi, or actually the first 20 minutes, we learned the hard way how disciplined and strict the Kenyans are. When driving on the ring road, we noticed everybody driving really slow and complying to all traffic rules. At that time we didn’t drew any conclusions, but later we found out that we should have. When entering the city we were a bit overwhelmed with the heavy traffic, driving on the left and the navigation system that was forcing us to zig-zag through the city. So when we took a wrong turn and the purple arrow on the Garmin indicated a u-turn, we intuitively followed its example. We took for granted that there was a continuous yellow line. A few cars had to wait for us, but hey, that really wasn’t a big deal.

However, at the first traffic light we got stopped by a police officer. “Driving license!” he demanded strong voiced. We could hear in his voice that he meant business. After scrutinizing the paper, he barked “open this door”, pointing at the side door. Cornelius wasn’t so fast to reach, so we got an “Open this, now!” again, quickly followed by his hitting the door with his rubber bat. Cocky little fellow. “You made a wrong u-turn and caused obstruction of traffic. You have to pay a fine and go to court.” Oops. A female police officer with badly fitting whig climbed in and directed us towards  the police station. There we had to pull over alongside a minivan, hosting an overly-well nourished police officer. He told us that for our offence, we either had to go to court and pay a fine of 30.000 to 50.000 Shilling. Or, we could pay him 10.000 Ksh (86 EUR) now, and we were free to go. “But sir, we don’t have 10.000 Shilling, we only have 2.200,” Cornelius objected. The officer wasn’t discouraged. “Ok, what do you have then, you must have a creditcard.” Conny reluctantly admitted. “Good, across the street is a bank. You get my shillings there. I’ll accept 5.000”, he offered generously. Crazy, crazy. This was not our first encounter with corrupt officers (we are still carrying a large red fire extinguisher, the product of a rotten, Egyptian customs policy), but the first one done so openly, not in an office, actually in front of the police station for everyone to see! We asked opinions from locals walking by. They all advised us to accept the bribe (‘only 5.000? this is actually a good offer’) so, reluctantly, we handed over the 5.000 Shilling. But also relieved, because this bribe offered us a convenient way around court. Not so admirable from us, to play along in a system that we condemn principally. It stayed on our minds for days.

Only later we learned a few things: that last year the traffic rules were intensified such, that even minor things, like shortcutting via a petrol station, can (and probably will) get you 3 month in prison That police officers earn such low wages, that they procure their own weekend and Christmas bonuses by squeezing money from scared drivers And that the state accepts this corruption (off course they condemn it in the press) to maintain peace & quiet.

Kenya didn’t grow on us as much as the other countries. I think it is a combination of fear of the police, high prices and finding this country too discovered, to developed. Hardly possible to do any ‘offtrack’ things here. It is a bit frustrating that the offer of luxury products, great food and wildlife and entertainment is beyond imagination, but mostly beyond our reach because of the tight budget. For example: every square inch in this country is a national park, and for every national park you have to pull out the big bucks. It leaves us longing for more, whereas in Ethiopia we could afford a certain luxury because 1) there hardly was any, and

2) it was so cheap that we could treat ourselves sometimes.

So we are not spending too much time in Kenya. We treated ourselves to one national park though, Lake Nakuru. A pretty little park where we hade our first game drive (game drive, such a strange word! Game…gaaaaame. We don’t get it). Here we spotted zebras, baboons, buffaloes, giraffes, rhinos and flamingos from our own car. It felt good that we were in our own car and not in a Pope-mobile-like safari vehicle in which all other tourists got driven in. A little bit offtrack 🙂 And we enjoyed an amazing streichel-zoo (no, this isn’t a synonym for swinger club): handfeeding giraffes. Feeling a soft hairy round lip on my hand was the highlight of my day.

So, now off to Uganda where we plan to stay about 4 weeks. Hope that we can come though bribe-free!

PS: if anyone knows where the word ‘game’ comes from, please enlighten us with your knowledge!